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Carlene Tan Li Xuan
11th July 1988.
Currently 23+.
Studied in St. Anthony's Canossian Primary and Secondary School,
SRJC (first 3 months),
TPJC, NUS FASS (econs).
loves family, friends, chocs, western desserts, yellow, etc etc.

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Monday, May 30, 2005

it's finally finally the holidays, but i really wonder if it's really a holiday... anyways this entry is for my 3 sisters so ya..

hey u 3, i guess we won't be able to meet up this june cos we're all gonna be caught up studying so i was thinking of meeting up in july instead... say about the 4th of july? wad do u pple think? tell me asap k...

okie, msg done... take care one and all and study hard!!!

Friday, May 27, 2005

its the last day of school already!!!!!! hooray!!! hahaha... i'll be going to collect my sis's report book with her later... in fact, my whole family's going. :)

yesterday was 1 eventful day, i guess this is 1 of the memories that'll stay with me throughout my JC life(if i even have one) but yup, let me tell u about it.
it was our lunch break, and pokemon(xianhui) went to hand up her GPP so the rest of us(me diana sabrina and valr) waited for her at the canteen. just then, sabrina said she wanted to pass by the library to check the computer to see who had won the A.I, but valr had already got the results and as we all know now, carrie won, but still she went off to the library, and none of us noticed till pokemon got back. and thus we were wondering if we should wait for her. not waiting for her would really be mean, but then again, what if she didn't want waffle rite? so we started tossing coins, but heaven seemed to have wanted us to wait for her, but erm, we just continued tossing coinS till it said for us to go. haha! okay, evil us. anyways we left a note, proudly written by diana, (seriously i thought the note was really well written, with the name written BIG) haha! okay okay, so we left, and bought our stuff etc etc, i think i forgot to add that bernie and chao liang joined us too, okay, so valr didn't buy cos she said she wanted to eat udon since she's never tried it before. and as we were all waiting for my(*guilty*) waffle, sabrina walked over and we all started joking bout the note. hehe. okay so back in school, valr went to get her udon. just then, we heard a scream, at first i couldn't see who it was cos there was a huge crowd blocking, then when they moved away, i saw valr waving her chopsticks then i realised that she had spilled her soup over her(it took me some time to register that in my head btw), so i ran over, and i forgot the tissue. thankfully, chin shyan they all were all equipped with tissues and were all helping her ready. so we got her to the toilet, ran her hand under tap water to reduce pain and swelling(my rusty first aid skills, keke) okay and initially i thought she would just have a first degree burn, but after applying the medication, a blister started forming on her hand, and thus, it was a 2nd degree burn. fortunately, she only sustained a slight burn on her face. during the wash up, we were all scolding the guy and to our surprise, he actually stood outside the girls toilet, and okay, he was worried, and apologized sincerely, and gave 2 bucks, but we were still quite unpleased with what he had done, but then, when we heard he himself got burnt, we were all like "oops..." ya, i mean quite mean for us to keep scolding him when he kept trying means and ways to help valr. thank goodness he isn't some irresposible guy, or we would all have bashed him up. haha. okay, and so much for all the excitment in less than an hour. i bet that valr is gonna remember yesterday for the rest of her life.

okay, back to today. i'm sad today, cos i just found out i failed my econs, badly, my MCQ was atrocious, i scored a mere 8 out of 25 u know... seriously i suck at econs, darn, and my mum just refuses to let me drop. sheesh. okay, that's all for now, shall try and recall some stuff that happened and will update soon.. SOON... keke... k then, take care peeps!

Friday, May 20, 2005

i'm back!!! and this time, i can update properly. first, let me rant about a video i watched during GP on thurs.

The video was on gender discrimination in India. The video is a documentary, and it talkes abou how girls are so terribly discriminated in India. How? every family, especially those in the villages only keep 1 female baby, which means if they have a second 1, they silence it. By wad means? By giving poison or simply letting them cry till they die. Isn't it cruel? And the fact is that they get pregnant so easily because they continuously have sex till they have a baby boy, how irritating right... and its not as if India has a severe deprivation of boys, in fact in those villages, only 17 out of a 100 are girls, how nonsensical! And the doctors are even sicker, they have such service as the sex determining service, where they do ultrasound to determine the gender of the baby, so if it is a girl, then families can choose to abort the baby, if its a boy, it would be considered a joyous occasion for especially the in-laws.

oh! and guess how marriages are carried out in India?
u know in S'pore and many parts of the world, it's usually the groom who gives gifts and money to the female side right, but in India, it's the bride's side who needs to give gifts, thanking the in-laws for marrying their daughter, and if they don't meet th demnds of the husband's family, the bride would be thrown out of the house and be considered an outcast shunned by her villages. And this is not just a 1 time thing, it is throughout their entire lives, anything the husband demands for must be met, otherwise, u know wad happens. 1 guy in India, lit a match and set his "wife"(more like prisoner) on fire and she was 75% burnt, and even then, she was ordered not to mention anything about her husband burning her up as the public would ostrasize her. It was only after a few days after she was admitted to the hospital that she told the truth, and before justice could be done, she was dead.

How ironic right? God made men and women to be equal, but looking at those Indian women, i feel so agitated at the discrimination and the way they're bring treated like dirt, i feel so much to want to crush those Indian men straight. they are useless! grrrr!!!

that day after watching the video, i think i couldn't think straight, i teared of course but i was mad, furious, so i refrained from talking to any guy cos i think i would have blown, so i decided to shut my mouth. how i wish he was there, i mean if he watched that video, he would have known that i was fuming mad, and he'd do something that'll naturally make me burst out laughing, i wished sooooo much that he was there to make me happy... *sobs* but oh well, i guess he must be really happy in his new sch, hearing from my fren how "popular" he is.. haha, i just hope he's happy.

yup! tt's all i guess... take care 1 and all... miss me!!! oh and happy vesak day!!!

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

i pierced my ears yesterday!!! hehe... went to "B'dazzle" and got my ears pierced, it was expensive. The earrings alone cost 40++ and with the lotion, my mum paid about 50++ all in all, i feel kinda guilty bout that. So for now, i'm trying to take extra care to my ears cos i really don't want any infection to come. *prays*

i'm going to have an econs test tomorrow, and i really wonder what i'm doing here, but oh well, guess i need a short break, and since i figured i haven't updated for a long time, people must be missing me... *grinz* so i'm updating it! haha!

okay, enough crap. had training just now, kept sliding, my shoes are just slippery, seriously they are, i think it won't be long before i trip and fall bad. but for now, i just need to save and save and save. my parent's pockets are running dry and the high edcation costs just ain't helping. urgh. seriously i wonder sometimes why we go through all the pain just for a stupid cert, but i guess it's important ya... oh well... life's like that.

i got to talk a LITTLE to him last night. was elated man... sheesh. mad me. he's really 1 unique guy. 1 in a million who will quarrel with me and not loose to me. relaly miss him a lot. hope he gets what he wants. :) can't wait for a gathering. really want to see him soon.

my poor si mei(mei yi) lost her USB drive... no no, she left it in school. i really hope she can get it back and that no one will take it. i'm just counting on the fact that singaporeans are mostly honest. :1

okay, that's all for now... take care everyone. *muacks*

Friday, May 13, 2005

i donated my blood yesterday!!! hehe... it was kinda scary at first cos we really didn't know what was coming at us, and there were indeed moments where we hesitated to donate blood. sitting there feeling the stress, i seriously salute those who went there without hesitation. but i would like to clarify something. the process may look super scary on an outsider's point of view, but with the anestatic, the rest of the process was just a brisk.

okay, i gtg, i'm falling asleep even as i type. ciao!

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

i'm going for blood donation tomorrow!!! actually i'm kinda scared, but for the sake of doing something for the community, i will go! i hope i can still train on fri though... *prays*

had a badminton forum today, and just found out that my badminton camp was cancelled. =( and my opportunity cost? the trip to bangkok with my family... oh well, never mind, i just hope i make good use of the june hols to study properly.

i don't know why but i've been feeling so dead for the past few days, seriously, i think i look like a walking zombie when i come to school, and now my classmate says i look pale... sheesh...
oh i ate waffle just now!! i tried the kaya waffle, and it isn't nice, so don't try it okay pple...

now, i'm tired, and i think many people are, hehe... oh well, i guess my energy will come back soon, i hope... yup.. tt's all. ciao! take care!

Sunday, May 08, 2005

It's been 2 days after the match with mjc. We lost 5-0. i was upset we lost so badly, but i knew for most of them, it was their first time in the court, and to be able to face such a strong opponent so bravely, i believe they deserve a round of applase. i know some felt depressed to the bottom cos they lost, while others are just more determined to work harder, whatever it is, i salute u for ur courage to stand there and go all out to fight for tpjc, and we will all work harder together, an next time, we'll be the ones celebrating. =)

for now, let's all work hard on our studies and do our best for our match with tjc. =x haha! okay, whatever it is, i'm glad the girls team are so united and i hope we'll be united with the boys team soon and be a whole united tpjc team!!! yuppie!! haha... okay okay, shall stop crapping...

So after the tournament, me, mei yi and liyi went for somg fest, it was alright, though many people felt the dance fest was much better as the crowd were more hype and responding. But whatever it was, isure felt the emcees made a good couple together... hehe! okay, so i left early, thus i don't know the results. =X I was really exhausted after a whole day of work. i mean we had sports day in the morning, did i mention that? i don't think so...

yup, now for sat. i went kayaking yesterday!!! wohoo!! but it wasn't really fun, more of tiring. and its unfair! everytime i want to get tan, the sun just refuse to shine. hmph! now it looks like its gonna rain, and i've got dragon boat later. unfair unfair! and to think people keep telling me to go kayaking and u'll sure get tan.. bleah...

anyways, i just hope things turn out as i planned later, i don't want to carry so much stuff around... hehe... so its mother's day today...

HAPPPY MOTHERS' DAY TO ALL MOTHERS, which includes me... haha!

a note to my mum (i bet she'll never read it in a million years):
dear mum,
i know i haven't been the best daughter, in fact, i haven't been the kind of daughter u aspired to have, and in fact, there were many a times u've wondered why u even gave birth to me. Sometimes i wonder to, but i guess it's God's will to be like that. I can't say u've been the best mother, but u've definitely given up what an ideal mother would. u gave up all ur material needs for ours, and i sincerely appreciate that.
i admit, there are times i can't help but blame u for some things that happen in my life, and sometimes i can't help but wonder why u just can't sit down and talk to us like friends, just like how some other mothers would to their child. but then again, i remember your past and i found the reason. u've never had the emotional comfort i now seek in my friends, and u've been on ur own all along. i admire your courage to walk through life however hard, and i want to learn it too.
u're conservative, and its good to some extent, and i know u care, but sometimes the harder u pull me back, the harder i want to go, and its my fault, i must learn how to keep myself and hand, and i will try. i know you want someone smart so u can match up to my cousins and prove to granny that u have smart kids too, and hope that she wouldn't be bias anymore, i empathise with u for all the unjust treatment u've received, but i hope u realise i'm no genius. li rong and yu wei are cleverer by nature, and u put ur hope in them, but i wish u'd realise i'm trying to. i don't stay in sch to socialise, why would i? just what kind of pple do u think i'm mixing with? bad people? u are always that pesimisstic, i know its becos of the way u're brought up, but believe me, i know how to choose my friends, and my best friends will tell me if they know somethings going to go wrong.
whatever it is, maybe i haven't brought out my main point here, but my main idea of this note is to let u know that i've been trying to be the ideal daughter so u won't always go hopping mad, but i just want some time.
yup, that's all. happy mothers' day!!!

Thursday, May 05, 2005

"Ironic" By Alyssa Morisette

An old man turned ninety-eight

He won the lottery and died the next day

It's a black fly in your Chardonnay

It's a death row pardon two minutes too late

Isn't it ironic ... don't you think

Chorus

It's like rain on your wedding day

It's a free ride when you've already paid

It's the good advice that you just didn't take

Who would've thought ... it figures

Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly

He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids good-bye

He waited his whole damn life to take that flight

And as the plane crashed down he thought

'Well isn't this nice...'

And isn't it ironic ... don't you think

Repeat Chorus

Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you

When you think everything's okay and everything's going right

And life has a funny way of helping you out when

You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up In your face

It's a traffic jam when you're already late

It's a no-smoking sign on your cigarette break

It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife

It's meeting the man of my dreams

And then meeting his beautiful wife

And isn't it ironic... don't you think

A little too ironic... and yeah I really do think...

Repeat Chorus

Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you

Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out

Helping you out

This song is all about irony, though it isn't really irony, but its a sad song.

Things haven't been looking too good for tpjc's badminton team, and i'm sad at the boys results, not because they haven't put in their best or anything, but my heart shattered when i heard how much we lost to acjc today because the guys worked hard, and its so heart wreching to see how low their morales have gone after the match with srjc. How i wish there was something i could do to boost their morale, but i'm just a nobody. I guess my deepest regret now is that our girls team is unable to mingle with the boys team and we're not united at all, unlike the other schools' teams, it'll be really fun if we're one united cca don't you think?

Tomorrow the girls will be playing against mjc, i really don't know what th outcome will be, neither do i know how the matches will turn out, but i'm hoping for the best. I'm hoping at least the girls will gear up after seeing the guys feeling so dejected and have outstanding performance, and in doing so, increase the power in the guys.

That's all for badminton, next comes this classmate that reallly leaves me puzzled. He keeps skipping lessons, and for no particular reason, and he isn't even afraid of teachers calling his parents or even seeing the principal. I'm not sure if it's the upbringing, but he isn't the rebellious sort, neither is he the kind you should stay far away from, but i don't know, i just hope he meets someone who will make a great impact on his life and make him change for the better.

Sometimes life just becomes so ironic. You like someone, but the feelings aren't mutual and then you find another someone who likes you but again, the feeling isn't mutual. It's odd, everything seems to contradict one another. We never seem to be able to anticipate what troubles are going to come at us next and sometimes the impact is so great you just want to give everything up at that moment of frenzy. Maybe God made it this way so we would appreciate life and our family members and friends more, but its so wierd cause people never treasure what they have until they loose it.

I'm always trying to help others, or so i think i can help, but in the end, when it comes to that same problem i counselled that i face, i don't know how to respond to it. Many a times i tell myself to be patient and tolearating but i just seem to lose my cool, and i hate it. It's funny how some people always say they despise back stabbers when unknowingly to them, they maybe a backstabber themself. I mean honestly, who can say they have never critisize or complain about any particular person before. Maybe there are some who really don't talk bad bout others but i'm sure the majority of us do, so isn't it ironic when we ourselves say we hate backstabbers when we ourselves can be 1?

Odd right? haha...

Okay, that's all for now, i know my paragraphs have no linking, just putting down what i've been thinking... don't make sense to me either but haha.. :)

oh well, shall go off now. Take care one and all! love ya! *muacks*